19 September 2011

Don't let me down.

Letting people down is not something I relish doing.  I hate "breaking the news", and I generally put it off as long as possible.  Though I doubt that letting the wait drag out hardly improves the situation, I guess it's more for my sake.  Knowing that people may think less of me or blame me for something is the worst.  I shouldn't care what they think, but I do.  It's natural for me to want to please.  It used to be worse.  Back in high school when I had frequent and disturbing nightmares, I narrowed the problem down to my difficulty with saying no to people.  I would let myself get so stressed out with not only my schedule, but worrying about what other people would think if I messed up, that my mind would vent when I went to sleep.

All this to say that I have news that will not make some people happy at all, and I don't know how they will react.  These people have been so good to me, and while I can get pretty frustrated with them, they have done a lot for me since I have known them.  I've always been a teacher's pet--so sue me-- and this situation doesn't seem any different.

So boo.  I have to break the news soon, because once the paperwork starts trickling back in... Ben and I are moving to Korea.