19 November 2009

Fall 2009

Reasons Why Fall 2009 Has Been the Worst Semester EVER
  • I got a job, which began meaning I never saw my friends. Now it just means I never get sleep because I'm trying to see my friends.
  • My classes are uncharacteristically demanding, and teachers are not sympathetic to a student's overbooked schedule.
  • One of my friends turned out to be a witch of a person.
  • I'm taking classes that (for the most part) I don't enjoy.
  • I am exhausted all the time.
  • I disappoint people constantly because I don't have time for them.

Things That Made Fall 2009 Bearable
  • My remaining awesome friends.
  • Flora and Matt bought a house only a few blocks away!
  • My co-workers are super. <3.
  • I feel like I'm accomplishing something by being so busy.
  • I got engaged to the best man I know.
  • I had a stellar birthday because of it.
  • I channeled my artistic side in drawing class and made a lot of friends.
  • I relearned French, and speak/read/write it better than ever.
  • I learned that there is more to life than grades, and despite my slightly falling GPA this semester (no doubt with more than one B), I feel like it was worth it to spend time with friends and family.
  • I got to see my Aunt Margi and Sam for my birthday.
  • I received inheritance money that'll help me accomplish my dreams.
  • No regular nightmares as a result of the heavy stress I'm under -- good sign?

There are still a few weeks left before the end of the semester, but there's a basic summary of it. I'm glad to see more good than bad on that list.


18 November 2009

Well, now that the smoke of the first reaction to my engagement has settled, I realize my life is more hectic than ever. This week I've gotten minimal to less than the minimum sleep. I've worked more, I've had five times as many assignments, two tests, two papers, drawings to turn in, a tutorial presentation to prepare, and an audition. The audition I haven't even looked at the music for.

...this week comes straight from hell.

13 November 2009

Friday the 13th, and today's going to be a really tough one. Well, really the whole weekend will be. I'm dealing with shocked family, upset family, worried family... I get the feeling that I'll be treated like a petulant child more than once. Part of me is very glad that I'll be working much of the time.

I don't know. I'm worried, too. I feel like I've been suffocating all morning... well, since last night. Because I don't know what I'm going to say. I've never been good with conflict. We all know that I clam up, I get quiet, I cry because I beat myself up when people get unhappy with me... I love Ben, and I guess the little girl in me hoped that my family would be excited, too. But all the negativity coming from them, it's making me uncomfortable with myself and with all this. I'm young, yes, but I'm an adult, too. And I'd like to make my own decisions without being ragged on for being careless or immature.

Maybe it's immature of me that I care so much what my family thinks about all this... but really, I feel like I'm being reasonable. No, Ben and I have not been dating for very long ("at my age?"), but we've known for a while now that there's no one else for us. No, I did not tell everyone that we were this serious. Sorry about that. I didn't know I had to advertise it to the world...

...sorry. I'm a bit bitter right now.


I need a vacation, lol.