19 April 2009

more adventurous.

At this point in the semester, the name of the game is "Keeping Your Head Above Water."  I'm behind on schoolwork, and it's tough to stay motivated to get it done in the first place.  I'm coasting through my classes, and I'm having a hard time putting much effort into my extracurriculars.  I guess you could say I'm a little distracted.

Summer plans, the boy, thesis plans, friends in pain, planning my future in general... It's all culminating into one big, crazy ball of distraction.  I don't know if I'm depressed or anxious or just stressed.  I feel like I could sleep for an eternity.  Little things frustrate me more than they did.  I want to get away.

I've been having weird dreams lately.  Maybe not nightmares... just forays into things disturbing.

I need to clean my room.  I need to write my paper(s).  I need to practice for my lesson and get ready for tonight's meetings/rehearsals.

...but I just want to go to bed.

I was going to drive down to Maumelle to turn in my Starbucks application this morning.  I'd had it all filled out and everything.  Typical, though, my car was dead when I went down.

That would be my life, lol.

Seriously.  One of these days I'm going to have a reliable car.
...it may be a while, though.

Love, Beks

p.s. the roommates think I need to see a "doctor".  And when I say doctor, I mean a girly doctor.  lol. I won't fill you in on the gnarly, personal details, so I'll just say that I've got this paranoid feeling that I'm going to find out that I can't have kids.  (I wanted to put a "lol" after that, and then I disapproved of my own levity in light of the subject matter.  ...lol).

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