09 February 2009

We have a surplus of individualism and a deficit of companionship.

I've noticed that it's the times when I most desperately need to get work done that I find myself sorely lacking in motivation.

...Sigh.

Today was a good day.  I managed to almost completely get through my first weekly walk/run routine this morning.  ("Almost completely" because I skipped one running segment near the middle of the course to keep walking and loosen out my muscles).  The course is actually a series of podcasts I heard about from Emily some weeks ago... with the aim of getting a beginning runner up to running 5k in 9 weeks.  Pretty cool, right?  I'm also working on getting to two hundred sit-ups in six weeks.

So while I've gained a bit of weight over the past semester and break, I'm getting the physical side of myself back on track for one of the first times since... well, it's been a while.

Almost had a small freak-out tonight while studying.  I'm just so distracted tonight... thinking about too many things.  I emailed Sephora about their new store opening in Little Rock this spring.  Hopefully they'll email me back.  I don't know if I'll be able to get a job with them, but it's what I need right now.  I have to start getting connections... and the whole vastness of my future ahead of me is more than a little daunting.  I know what I want, but will I be good enough to reach it?  Will I have enough ambition and spirit?

It was these questions (and many, many more) that made me lay my head down on my desk and breathe.  I have to keep telling myself that I have time.  I can do anything I want.  I don't have to worry yet.

Yeah, and then I remember that I'm telling that to someone who worries to the point of obsession about these types of things.  It drives people crazy, but it's the way I am.

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