"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they say 'no' -- they may not be smart enough to say 'yes'."
Happy New Year 2009, world.
I rang in the new year like a wuss. Had a mental/emotional breakdown about an hour before midnight, and I was asleep whenever my 12am alarm went off. Yeah. I know I'm lame. Shut up.
I really just have one resolution this year, mostly because I normally don't do resolutions. But I figured I might as well try to get over someone I've been unhealthily pining over for months... I got through a lot of the process on Christmas Eve. Deleted him from websites, blocked and deleted on messengers, the lot. I didn't delete old emails and messages until today. That was hard, but... it needed to be done. More so when I found out he had a girlfriend today. That was a bit of a blow to the gut... twist the knife, will you? Yeah, and then rip it out, haha. I'm reminded of that knife in the 1994 Jungle Book, you know?
Capt. Boone (Cary Elwes): [holding up the knife] This is a personal favorite of mine. You thrust it into your opponent's belly like that, see? And then you twist it a little and rip out his stomach.
Mowgli: And then do you eat him?
Capt. Boone: No, of course not.
Mowgli: Does he want to eat you?
Capt. Boone: Why, no.
Mowgli: Then why kill him?
Capt. Boone: Because he's your enemy.
Mowgli: What is enemy?
Capt. Boone: Someone you hate.
Mowgli: What is hate?
I tell myself it's for the best, that we were never really all that good for each other, but it's tough. and I won't try to fool myself into thinking it shouldn't be. As Julie says, though... he doesn't matter. And in the end, he doesn't. Really, he doesn't.
So here's to a new year full of its own beauty, pain, stupid mistakes, successes, and failures. Julie has feelings that a lot of things are going to change this year, and I think it's possible-- even probable. I just hope some of them will be good changes.
Had a bit of a run-in with the police on New Years -- might explain that later. But before I go back to school I have to go to court to appeal a ticket I shouldn't have gotten. Yuck.
Planning on going back on Weight Watchers soon, just because. It'd be cool to lose maybe another 30 pounds before summer, but I'm not making myself any big promises yet. I have to see how stressful this semester will be first.
Joe, we all miss you. :( Hopefully see you soon.
Love you guys. Hope your breaks are going swimmingly.