04 September 2008

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

It's been a restive day.  Our fire alarm went off at about 7:45 this morning, and I doubt if anyone really paid attention to it.  There was no way I was getting out of bed 15 minutes ahead of schedule to go stand outside in the rain (if it was indeed raining-- I assumed so after our monsoon yesterday).

I got my excess aid check today and found it to be relievingly true to past numbers.  I should never pay attention to what those bills tell me a month before school, because they're never right.  This year they said I'd be losing about $900 a semester, and I was distressed because I live off of that money year-round.  Thankfully though, nem igaz.

Lunch with Laina and a psychology club meeting.  I came back to the room wanting to do something and feeling a little lonely, eventually falling asleep on the couch.  I think I napped for about 2 hours, and I feel much more rested now, but still.  There was stuff I wanted to get done today.  Deposit my check and acquire my other bookshelf from Fran's house, among other things.  Ah, well.  I've got to finish up my French homework and that Government journal tonight, too... and Julie, Laina, and I are going to see a movie in Little Rock at some point.  Maybe going to Pancake Night at Laurel's afterward.  It's supposed to be a busy night, but in all complete honesty, there's really just one thing I wish I could be doing right now.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me these days.  I seriously don't mean to be so moody, or whatever I've been.  I hate myself when I'm in a depressed mood.  I don't like to be down or pessimistic.  It goes against my nature.  I've been thinking a lot about it today and decided that maybe it's because I lack security in some points in my life at the moment, and that's causing me a lot of stress.  Making me anxious.  Making me second-guess myself when normally I would be sure.  Aïe, me.  Je ne sais pas.  C'est trop dommage, n'est pas?  Je ne veux pas être triste mais je ne sais pas ce que je peux faire.  Heh, get that French lesson in there.

On a lighter note, I've recently become a fan of Mute Math.  I don't know why it's taken me so long to figure out how much I enjoy their music.  Crazy me.


disneykid1 said...

you gals have fun at the movie! i'm sorry you're feeling down.

Anonymous said...

what do the french sentences mean?
do not be sad, okay? *hugs*

Anonymous said...

hrm. aw, beks. you have to pick yourself up off the ground. we're going shopping!

p.s. - boys are stupid.