I've been sick for the past several days, but I think I'm finally starting to feel whole again. My poor roommates, I feel for them. They had to endure through my wheezing and hacking all weekend. That's why I love them. Hehehe.
Last night, I went to Walmart with Laina, and I decided to buy a plant. I know, I know... Ugh. Haha. I can barely even take care of myself, much less a plant. MUCH less an animal. This is why I kill every plant I've ever owned, and my fish never last very long. I get it from my mom. She's terrible with plants, too.
But, you know, I'd like to have a garden when I have my own house. There's something very romantic and soothing about that idea. So humor me, ok?
Besides... I have this really... paranoid feeling that my negative expectations toward relationships (that sinking thought that it's over before it even started) is related to my negative expectations toward being able to take care of something. It's bothered me for a while now, and I guess it hearkens back to an idea I heard first on 28 Days. People out of rehab are encouraged to get a plant. And if they are able to keep the plant alive for a year, they are then encouraged to get a pet (probably a dog or a cat, though a fish would be hard enough for me, lol). And if, after a year, the animal is still alive and healthy, then they can have a healthy relationship.
Sure, it doesn't apply to everyone. And definitely not everyone can wait 2 whole years to be ready for a relationship. But god, I'm terrible at them. I kill them before they even start. And I'm sick of that.
So I bought a plant.
Lucky for me, it's a lavender plant, and apparently they're pretty hard to kill.
...Hahaha, just watch me end up killing it. (And my thought for if/when that happens: "I'm screwed.")