17 March 2008

I'm going crazy. I must be.

Okay. So I'm about 89% sure I've got a problem.
Today I almost hyperventilated because I saw a new picture released from a movie coming out in December which is based on a book I really like. I don't know how to explain it. But my mind couldn't handle it. I was getting overwhelmed by a freaking picture. It was like part of my mind was moving way too fast and the rest just couldn't keep up. I wanted to scream, to tear my hair out, to throw something, to cry, to stop existing. It was physically painful. And every time I think about it, it happens again. Like a lump forcing its way out of my chest. I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't move, everything stops, and I'm stuck in my own hell of a claustrophobic in-between until something happens to pull me away to distraction.

God... I sound pretty psycho, don't I?

And the sad part is this has happened before. Same symptoms, same feeling of helplessness. I'm not in control. And I can't get in control. Was it a panic attack? Maybe. Ugh.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

uh-oh...
i think you're alright, it's just you need more sleep.
so use your spring break for sleeping and relaxing. i'm serious!
eh.. szeretlek.:)